Self-love

What Health Education Taught Me

I was nearing the end of 7th grade when it happened for the first time. I was getting ready for school and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Something seemed different, so I paused to take a better look. I look fat, I thought to myself.    

Something miraculous occurred that day, because my next thought was, No, I'm not fat, this is body dysmorphia. If I felt and looked normal yesterday, there is no way I could suddenly be fat today. I have my 6th grade Health class to thank for that moment.   

What I learned after meditating for 10 days

The bell sounds and 30 people sit quietly in a room without making eye contact. 

For an hour no one moves or says a word. The turn of a page would upset the stillness in the air.  

My eyes shield me and I see nothing but darkness. I try to focus on my breath. I don’t notice distraction creeping in. Thoughts fill the void. 

My internal dialogue: How long do I have to sit here? Ow ow ow my legs are going numb. That’s not normal. I wonder what’s for lunch? The tempeh was pretty good yesterday. This is stupid. I’m stupid. Why can’t I sit still without hurting? Why?